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[11 Mar 2004|01:49pm] |
new LJ --> herpes__yay
add me there if you'd like?
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[24 Feb 2004|03:55pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
how dare you, sitting there so comfortable on your bed and your insecure royalty telling me you're scared of my flaws. so i'm real...what were you expecting? perfection? not in my reflection, of me or you or anyone else. you’re insane. you know exactly when to bend me and break me, when my heart’s at its weakest you’re twisting my arm behind my back with a crooked smile. i can see right through you! i can’t stand seeing you so alive when you’re killing me. you’re finally my sundown, when you used to make me so warm. i said "can we hang out?" but you've already hung up on me. i hope you choke when you talk about me to all the people who don’t love you half as much as i do.
Unseen Tragedy77: i cant stand talkingnto u sara
Unseen Tragedy77: bye
there goes my world in the blink of an eye.
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| the Adam and Betty story ( and shoes ) |
[22 Feb 2004|12:16pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
I have figured out why there are different languages here on our planet. I mean there might be different languages on other planets, in fact that time I took a trip to Pluto one summer when I had nothing better to do, I heard most of the Aliens talking in something impossible to understand. But I'm not really supposed to discuss that vacation because NASA get angry. So we won't talk about it. (Well, if you note me asking for information on this, maybe do it in code? Like say I really want to know about the vacation you went on that time, you know, the one that has NOTHING to do with NASA or anything like that. And then if anyone from NASA is reading this entry, they won't figure it out? Because that little note sounds nothing like suspicious. And then I will note you yeah, I'll tell you all about that trip I had, which had nothing to do with NASA, or Pluto. Ha. We've got them fooled. But if anyone does suspect anything and they come to your house to question and anally probe you, MAKE SURE you forget you ever met me. In fact, forget you even heard of livejournal then email me the password to your diary and I'll *cough* look after it. Real well. Honest.)
Okay, so. I HAVE FIGURED OUT WHY THERE ARE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. Yes. Because I always thought, you know, HOW can the Adam and Betty theory be real? (I changed Eve's name to Betty. I thought it sounded more motherly, you know? Like, Betty stays home in the Garden of Eden making scones for Adam and wearing a sensible apron, maybe with green stitching and a fancy little carrot pattern on the front. And she has her hair tied matronly behind her head, and she only lets Adam have sex with her on Friday nights, because she's far too busy to entertain a stupid naked guy who likes to talk to snakes and eat apples fallen from trees. Besides which, I just don't like the name Eve.) Right. So. Yeah, I always had a problem believing that theory because I thought, if we all started from just two people, where did all the languages come from? I mean, where did we get Flemish, and Iraqui? Why isn't there still just English? (Of course English was their first language. It is the language that I speak, after all. And I'm like... practically God, or something. I even have white robes that I wear sometimes, and nice brown sandals. Although I actually get forced to wear shoes made out of paper when I go stay in the hospital. They tell me it's so I won't kick myself in the face or cause myself harm, but it's really just a way to make me think I am hearing noises. Seriously, every time I walk I hear this rustle-rustle from my so-called-shoes. And they make me wear them so that I think I am hearing rustle-rustle noises and that I'm going crazy and that I need to stay in the hospital and have fluffy hair. But I don't. I can even almost be let into society now, as long as I'm handcuffed and on a leash and don't talk to anyone.) (But they can't stop me laughing though. No. So sometimes I just glare at the security guy and laugh. Then he looks scared and hits me with his electric stick thing, so I don't do it very often anymore.)
So I guess you're wondering about my language theory? So what happened was, it was like the year 10BC, and there were these three friends one day. Let's call them, I don't know, Sarah, Jessica, and Parker. Hey, they are kind of cool names. Wouldn't it be funny if there was like this celebrity called Sarah Jessica Parker? She could, like, have three cool names in one. Wow. Pity there isn't, then.
So Sarah and Parker knew each other really well, and Jessica was just the odd one out. I don't know why. Maybe she picked her nose and ate it. Or maybe she just wasn't all that good at jump rope, so Sarah and Parker had to play with a monkey instead, and the monkey was called Clive and a lot of the time he didn't play right, he just bit their ankles and stole all their silver jewelry. And they, like, totally blamed it all on Jessica. How unfair is that? Yeah, I know. So Sarah and Parker sat down one day and they were like, "I don't like Jessica. How can we make her go away?"
So you know what they did? They made up a new language, all on their own, so that they could talk and Jessica wouldn't understand them, and would just go away.
I mean, she did go away eventually. She cried a little, and then found a quarter on the street and bought herself a steak dinner, so it kind of cheered her up.
So after a while of speaking this new language, Sarah and Parker forgot English, and realised they would have to speak this language FOREVER. And then maybe one day Sarah meets these two guys called Matthew and Broderick? Right? And she makes friends with Broderick, and they get fed up with Matthew. And Sarah tells Broderick they should make up ANOTHER new language to make Matthew go away. So they do. And it goes on, and on, and on. Until there are loads of stupid useless languages, and Sarah is a star in some TV show, and makes a shitload of money. I mean, why doesn't she give some of it to me? HUH? It's like child abuse. It really is. I mean, she doesn't know me, and I haven't earned it, but still. Still.
rustle-rustle.
Oh mother of God, did you HEAR THAT? DID YOU? The shoes!!! Ohhh, the preppy paper shoes, they're coming, they've found me.
I almost forgot to tell you how I figured out my theory. How silly of me! Well what happened was, my psychiatrist was trying to get me to open up and let him see the real me. I mean, I figured it would be funny to tell him that the real me actually is a man, and was currently running through poppy fields wearing a corset and Y-fronts, singing Madonna songs and sucking on a raspberry popsicle. He didn't find it amusing. He just gave me an injection and I slept for a little while. But I guess sleep is good, when you think about it.
So when I woke up, I decided to suddenly speak a new language, like I was foreign the whole time, and didn't understand English. I figured it would make the guy maybe laugh a little. But out comes the needle again. So as I was falling asleep, I started thinking about different languages, and my theory hit me. See. I am a natural born miracle. *halo appears above head*.
Rustle-rustle-rustle-rustle-rustle
Did you really not hear that?
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| Do the chicken dance, c'mon. |
[20 Feb 2004|01:00am] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
You know what I was just thinking?
Oh, I'm sorry, you do? Oh. Well in that case I don't need to write it down then, I'll just sit here not saying anything because you know what I was thinking.
Ha ha, wouldn't it be so funny if I did that. Like, if I pretended I thought you were all psychic and so I like started a revolt or something and just didn't write in my diary? and then nobody would come to it, and I wouldn't update, because I would still be sending all my thoughts out telepathically, and so it would just, like, get shut down?
Actually I don't like the sound of that. So maybe I will just write what I was thinking, and for those psychic people out there who are reading and you're sitting there thinking man, I know this already! You already told me with your mind waves! And then you get kind of angry, please don't send me a hate note or kill my pet chicken. I mean, maybe you could just stop hacking into my head for five seconds. I could be thinking something really bad that you are too young to listen to. Or wait! No! I could like come up with some invention or something, and you steal it!!! Because you got to my thoughts first! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, DAMMIT! Just read the entry like a normal person and stop trying to be first in line!
Look, I'll do a deal. If you really want access to my thoughts that badly, come over and stay with me for a while. No, really, it's fine. My dog will loan you his basket to sleep in, and I can cook for you. You like toast, right? And then whenever some thought comes into my head, I can just tell you, right there and then, so nobody else hears it first. (Except the FBI possibly, who have bugged my whole house and my phone lines. *looks around in paranoid suspicion* They just won't leave me alone, will they. I tell them I am going to stay in the country and not run any more, but they just won't let it go.) Anyway, so back to the thoughts thing. Well, anytime I get a thought in my head, you can have it. No, really. I'll even put some wrapping paper on it, if you'd like? And a bow? Yeah, sure, that's no problem at all. Can you pass me the gift tags? I'll just write a little message on it:
Dear you, this is one of Sara's thoughts, just for you, treat it with care, or eat it in a sandwich if you wish. Love and marshmallows, from Sara.
And then you can just have it, before anybody. So then you don't need to worry about hacking into my brain in order to get access. Ok? Are you out now? Good.
Speaking of hacking into heads and stuff, do you think hypnotiser people are for real? I mean, do you actually think somebody has the ability to make you dress up in a diaper, suck your thumb and call the next person you see 'Mommy'? Do you really think someone could make me hop around and flap my arms around like a frantic chicken? I mean, because I don't need someone to hypnotise me to do that. I already have a chicken, called Wendy, and she gets lonesome sometimes, so I kind of do my little chicken dance to make her feel like she's not alone. Sometimes the neighbors look over the garden fence and whisper things about me, and stuff. Sometimes they call my doctor again. But they won't hurt me. Oh no. Not when I still have Wendy. Me and Wendy and our chicken dance.
I'm thinking of putting a routine together, in fact. I figured maybe if I could get Wendy to understand the concept of music, and rhythm, then we could make up a little dance to a song of some kind? And we could like, perform it, for money? Would people pay for something like that? And I could give it a name. Like Sa and Wendy Dance For You! (at a very small price. Yes, we do accept cheques.)
So I guess I've got my future sorted. Although I did kind of want to be an astronaut. Seriously, just how much training is required to walk around on the moon for a bit and tell Houston how great everything is? I would be so great at doing that, by the way. And if we had *a problem*, too, I would be awesome, because I have practised saying it. You know. "Houston, uh... (awkward cough) we have a problem."
Seriously. Tom Hanks has nothing on me. I've practised it so much that sometimes I think I am Tom Hanks. And I kind of jump a little and go "Whoa! Tom, what are you doing here in my house?!" and then I look around and he's not there, because it was actually me, the whole time, and then I look in the mirror and just laugh and laugh. Kind of like a maniac. Except without the handcuffs and fluffy hair. That is how much I have practised the Houston thing. See, and they say I waste my time? Well they won't be saying that when I'm walking on Jupiter eating M & M's like nothing is out of the ordinary. No. Then they'll be saying "we should have worshipped her while we had the chance, because now she's like the most famous important astronaut of all time!" and I will roll my eyes and eat more M & M's. Because I need the energy for all the moonwalking and stuff I'll be doing.
Hey, I've just realised. Michael Jackson does the moonwalk. What is that about? Is he trying to tell us he wants to go into space? Because, I have to say, if he does want to, I don't see why we should stop him. I think he'd fit in with aliens real well. But just as long as he's not in MY space shuttle. Not on my ship. No indeed.
Hey, are you still reading my thoughts, you sneaky little people? No? Well, just in case you are, I'm going to stop thinking now. Hah. You won't be able to read my mind now, will you! So I am officially shutting down my brain for five minutes. Don't expect anything too intelligent from here on.
......
..............
.......................
................................
Told you.
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| arrow through my head, knife through my chest. |
[20 Feb 2004|12:34am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
Dear the name that makes me smile,
It's been 2 months and 1,000,000 tears later and i have yet to lose my love for you. You are the person that embraced me with open arms, and held me close when i was down. You loved me for who i was, and i could never see that. I made you hurt when i constructed another red line upon my wrist.
I've thought your name at least 100 times a day, and i've whispered it in my dreams more than i should be able to. If thinking about you, is killing me, than i've died a million times. There is nothing i wouldn't give to be with you for one more day knowing it was before all this happened. To hear you tell me i'm the only one, and lay me down and kiss me all night until the very last minute that i may be with you still knowing we love. I want to show you that it is me who can make your life the best it will ever be, and it makes my eyes start to rain upon my heavy smile when i see you thinking that I doubt our existance in a time of being together.
It seems that everyone around me is happier than they could ever be, and i'm stuck inside, by myself, waiting for you to call. I would prefer some rainy days, to stand in the middle of the street, and let my hair down and put my arms out and twirl upon my feet. I want you to come out of nowhere and pick me up in your arms, and spin me around like this moment is what you've been waiting for. But instead i sit on my bed, writing your name. It's been at least 1000 pages and i still can't find a single thing wrong with it. I just want to know what was wrong with mine.
You used to call me yours, as if i were the reason for you being here. I'm lost within these pictures, of your smiling adorable face. Smile with bright green eyes that can burn through me like acid and your dimple that is the cutest thing i've ever seen, as youre telling my heart a secret. I never thought that these pictures would have to remind me of what we were. I wanted them to be memories that we had when we were young, and drawings we could show to our children of what true love should look like.
My tears have dried and left stains upon my face, for which no boy shall look for love. My heart is broken and has spilled. My dreams have been shattered, and my strength has gone. I look out my window now and do not see you coming for me. I miss you knowing that I loved you and how truthfully you could say the same without looking away for a second.
Every day i wonder if you think about me, and if you do, what you're thinking about. Are you thinking of what to say to me, are you thinking of how to ask me if I still want to be with you? Are you thinking of how you want to tell me that it's over for good, and you just want to be friends?
Today i took 3 steps. One step to get up the courage to tell you everything i feel, one step to actually push send and let you read this, and the final step i took when i turned off my computer and a part of you vanished, because this is where we met, and this is how we should leave, if that's what you want.
Love Always And Forever,
The one who makes your voice scream
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| Did that llama just wave at me? |
[19 Feb 2004|10:04pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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IF LIVEJOURNAL HAD NEVER EVEN EXISTED.
*gasp!* and then you think NO, oh I didn't mean to say that. Please forgive me oh mighty LiveJournal creators. And then you go home and unlock your diary and write a long entry titled 'My life sucks more than anyone could imagine' and moan about what an awful day you had. And maybe you write a cute little poem at the bottom in pretty pink font. I don't know, what am I, psychic? I'm just here to tell the stories. If you want candy go see the woman by the stairs.
So anyways. That was one group possibility. I mean, of course, I don't know how it would work. Because if all the people were hosting pageants, who would take part?
Sea lions? They have internet access, right?
Another group could be like Dieters. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with them. But would it maybe be better if they went to say DietJournal instead? Because ALL their entries could be about the same thing, and they would understand each other, and they could all sit in a virtual circle and sing songs about Weight Watchers, and count calories together whilst knitting extra large sweaters. (For their pet ELEPHANTS I mean, not because they are fat or anything.)
And hey, why can't we have groups for EVERYTHING! Yeah! This is so cool. We could have a ZooJournal where people like talk about their crazy pets. Look, there's Martha with her one-legged Puma who speaks French and occasional Hebrew. And hey! It's Jerry! Jerry with the Giant Computer Eating Moth that can turn into a bowl of carrots! Whoa! All the amazing incredible animals can come together at this fantastic site!
So I am all in favour of ZooJournal. And then we could have other stuff. Like maybe CelebrityJournal. Where all the celebrity diarys can go.
I advise you to sign up for these quick, they are gonna be way popular. Do you think the ZJ will accept my unicorn? I don't know, I think it's kinda boring. Maybe if I painted him blue?
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| I'm just SO smart |
[19 Feb 2004|08:47pm] |
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mood |
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 nerdy |
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When I went to the petstore earlier I was planning on getting something really cool. Like you know when people walk down the street with like a lion on a leash? Or a giant sea turtle? Or maybe I haven't seen people doing that, maybe I just think it is a really cool idea, but still. So I decided that, seeing how I am always on the lookout for something new to do, I decided to get a pet. I wrote out a list of all the animals I could think of, and then crossed out the ones which would be just silly. Like, a hamster. (Who would want just a little hamster running around? Unless, you could take the hamster to the park with you and talk to the hot dog guy who is always rude to you just because you told him once that hot dogs might be a good way to kill people, if they were poisoned right, and you asked if you could try out your new poison on his stall, and now he looks at you like you are weird. And you say, look at my little friend here, and the hamster pokes his little head out of your pocket and the hot dog man screams and runs away and you trash his hot dog stall, just to make a point, because there is just no excuse for rudeness to anybody. Then you chase him down the street throwing his hot dogs at the back of his head and screaming that your hamster has rabies and it is going to EAT HIM.)
I decided I needed something small that I can take with me every place. A fish! A fish was perfect, because not only did it not make a lot of mess, BUT, if I ever got stuck in one of my hiding places, I could eat my fish. See, that is why people with dogs are just silly. What if they get stuck somewhere one day, they can't eat their dog! People are so not practical.
But when I went to the petstore, they showed me some fish, and then they showed me FISHTANKS. I mean, how am I supposed to carry a fishtank around with me? Apparently fish need to be in water, all the time. Like you can't just carry him around or teach him to walk behind you along the ground. Fish are stupid. On the way home, it hit me. I knew what I could get for a pet! They think fish need to be in water all the time? WHAT are they talking about? I can buy a can of tuna! You know, people think I am crazy and only have dumb ideas, but they just don't know what goes on inside my head. Who else would think of having tunafish as a pet? Nobody, that's who. And that is why this world is such a messed up place. We need people like me, to rule the world, and give everyone tunafish as pets. A dog is not just for Christmas? NO! Because a tunafish is for Christmas!
I took a long time choosing my little tuna. I decided to call him Hankerchief, and he is very cute. I tied a bow around him and even bought a little skateboard so he can ride beside me when I walk along the street! And also, he doesn't need food, or anything. See, people just don't use their brains. I think you should take all your dogs to the pound right now, and get yourself a little tuna, because they make lifelong friends. Little Hankerchief and me, we're best buddies, and also, I just proved to those stupid petstore people that you can have a fish without water. Maybe I will buy a friend for Hankerchief, and they can mate and have tuna babies. Maybe I could start a tuna petstore! I am so smart I scare myself. No really, sometimes I look in the mirror like WHOA, you are too smart. And sometimes I look in the mirror and Hankerchief is sitting on the table behind me, staring at me. Just staring. I wish he wouldn't do that sometimes. It freaks me out.
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| Fuck you. |
[18 Feb 2004|01:03am] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
nothing you say can matter now
i've run out of applications titled "new friend"
and you cannot have back your long-deserted place as an old one
you are betrayal
you are insincerity
you are soulrape
just to be within 50 feet of you
your shrill musings destroy you and reincarnate you every moment
the only constant is your foundation of pointlessness
if self-improvement equals masturbation
you are the most boring of prudes
your only gain over the years
is that you are even more of a nothing now than when i first met you
and now i know you will only get worse
you get stupider every day, i swear
(yes i know "stupider" isn't a word, dipshit)
1, 2, 3 PERSECUTE!!!!!
oh wait i'm sorry
i shouldn't have said that
i might offend someone
here you first since you insist.
hypocrisy is your name
loyalty is your "whatever looks the prettiest"
your trust is only justified when given to those who have already betrayed you
You're getting worse.
You can't look me in the face
and tell me without looking away
that when you die anyone
even your fake friends
will miss you.
The world would be a better place if you weren't in it.
Suicide.
Consider it.
No, in fact, just do it,
since you lack the ability to think for yourself anyway.
I regret taking the time to write about you.
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| Bad <---> Good |
[17 Feb 2004|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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Yeah...everyone like hates me now. First it started out with just Justin Daniel Dalio being a fuck tard, then it evolved into like every guy that goes to Dans house. The only people that like, don't hate me that go to Dans that are guys are Randy, Jon Diot, and Mike. That's one long list *said with major sarcasm*.
I love how I knew most of them before anyone else in my grade did, and the second they all get girlfriends I am a no one. Got to love how I was like the linker of the grades and everyone takes me for granted after. I don't think any of them have a strong conclusion as to why they hate me cause no one knows why they all hate me, but when they tell me to kill myself to do them all a favor I know they have a strong dislike for me. The only person I can really trust now that is a guy is Tom. I can trust Dan, but cause of the whole dumping me for Emma thing that happened not too long ago, I can't say I trust him completely, and he knows this. I could not ask for a better boyfriend though.
Last night Justin started his shit and said he was going to kick Dans ass. The second Justin lays a finger on Dan his ass is mine. I will beat him, and I swear to these words. Although Justin has not said shit to me since he told me he was going to kick my boyfriends ass, I still want him to die. I like seeing my friends happy when she is dating him and all, but I am a protective person, mess with my grounds and I will bomb yours. Much like the whole Iraqui war we got going on only less to destroy. Also, I have to thank Adam cause he is awesome and is backing me up. I love him soo much ( as a friend of course but he is still insanely awesome for talking to that douche bag ILY ADAM! )
I also had the privalledge of going to the doctors today for my throat being a bitch and killing me =(. That was... fun? I found out my throat has an infection of some sort... probably cause I have a cold and such but that is okay, atleast he didn't say it was contagious *shrugs*.
Dan came over today which was cool. We went for a walk through part of Hopedale. That was fun. He means so much to me it's insane. Seeing him for the first time this vacation was just an amazing feeling. I have missed him so much between his parents going on vacation and him staying at Randys and then me being sick. He is one of the best boyfriends I've ever had.
Although I have had more bad points threw-out my day than good, the good will continue to outway the bad cause seeing Dan was the highlight of my day. Anyways.. I think I typed enough. I don't think I would have typed this much if it wasn't for Thomas telling me to write in here. ILY Tom, you're awesome and thanks for listening to me bitch when I got crap bugging me.
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| Jealous. |
[16 Feb 2004|01:51am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
Yeah.. I needed to vent so I made this entry private and now its public again. I'm feeling a little replaced. In the past few hours Dan's been talking to me less, and talking to Cyndi more. Is that backwards or is it just me? And now they're making plans together. Yeah, you don't go hang out when you're my best friend and my boyfriend together. No. Just not cool.
I recall very well Cyndi hating me if I talked to Tom when they were dating, and now I'm feeling rejected. Atleast when I talked to Tom he didn't like ignore her presence.
They are going on a fucking walk together. "need 2 releave some tension and i cant write so im taking a walk with cyndi...bbl..." <-- his away message. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Anyways I am done complaining concidering I am the only one who really cares what happened besides Tom cause he rocks by pants off.
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[15 Feb 2004|12:41pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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Thought it was time for an update. I haven't been on here in a while, I've been updating my greatestjournal more than any of my other ones cause I made it friends only. My GJ = www.greatestjournal.com/users/living_for_you <-- best layout in the world ever.
In other news, Dan was at Randys all weekend which sucked cause it was valentines day and all and I didn't get to see him and even better we got into a fight when we were on the phone while I was at Cyndis. He wanted to go over her house and he couldn't so I basically got blamed. *sigh*. I had an off night after that as Cyndi could tell. I layed on the floor in her room debating whether I was going to call him back or not after the phone call ended with a Dan : "I'll talk to you tomorrow then." Me : "Bye" *CLICK*. I just kind of stared at the ceiling the rest of the time I was at Cyndis and cried a little bit but held most of it in cause Cyndi was there and I didn't want her thinking I was a weakling or nothing. Yeah I was pretty angry. Guess this is a lesson learned : not to tell your girlfriend your gay and make sexual noises on the other side of the phone with Randy and expect them not to get mad. Grr. I hope I don't like, lose him over that but I was pretty pissed.
Also, I am thinking about making this friends only, but I guess we shall see when I finish making a new layout. Yeah, It's time for an LJ appearance change.
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| you ------- suck. |
[10 Feb 2004|04:57pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
] |
Got into a fight with Dan today after school. He stayed after school with Randy so it was awkward to talk to him and like, argue when I knew Randy was probably reading the conversation. This one wasn't a bad one. This same girl seems like she is trying to break us up. Dan's so sensitive, and she just happens to know that. Yeah... I'm really starting to think that she wants to break us up so she can date him. She says she hates him, so why the hell would she bring stupid shit up to him? or not.
Sometimes I forget that Dan is so sensitive. I know he cares about a lot of the little stuff but I'd do anything to make him happy. anything. He is so awesome and I love him to death. He means so much to me. I hate how SHE is trying to tear us apart now. I hate attention thrivers.
I am concidering letting Dan read my friends only journal sometime. I don't want anyone to read it really, but I really want him to know some of the things that are going through my head. Anyways I am going to go listen to music. Goodbye.
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| The Forgotten Muse. |
[08 Feb 2004|09:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
She was sitting by the brook one day when I found her. Sobbing quietly beneath the twisted branches of the weeping willow and clutching a delicate white handkerchief to her heart as her tears fell down her pale cheeks. She was plain to behold, although her eyes held hidden depths and I found myself compelled to sit beside her, so sit I did.
"What's wrong?" I asked and awaited her reply. She sighed sadly and stared at the ripples in the clear, springtime water. "They have forgotten me" came her small voice. It rang softly on the air and she sighed again, her hands moving from her heart to her long white dress where her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her skirt.
"They complain because the cant find me, but how can they when they have forgotten me?" She frowned.
"But who has forgotten you?" I asked, confused slightly by her previous statement.
She ignored my voice and shook her head. "They take me for granted and only as for me when I'm gone - forgotten! If it wasn't for me their words would hold no beauty. They would be just be empty, silent - expressionless!"
"But who, sweet lady, are they who have forgotten you? Surely you are unforgettable in your simple elegance?" I spoke wanting to find out who could forget such a pretty creature so quickly.
She was small and slight and dressed from head to toe in white. With beautiful eyes and long locks of rich brown hair falling over her shoulders.
"Speak not consolation for it holds no weight here child" She looked down at her hands and bit her bottom lip, brows furrowed in obvious perplexion.
"They think of me too much that is why they cant find me, yet when they possess me they forget me so easily - like a breath of air I'm removed from their thoughts"
"But my lady, if they seek for you does it not show that they care? Perhaps you should allowed them to find you so they can see if you are safe?"
She turned and looked, smiling slightly. "I bless them one at a time with my presence so as soon as I leave one when they forget me they call my name and I am forced to leave another least I be found and tied down"
I scratched my head, confusion I'm sure etched upon my features.
She was silent for a few minutes and the brook babbled on oblivious to this strange conversation which was taking place on its banks.
"Oh and call my name they do" She sighed and looked over her shoulder at the sprawling countryside and perfect sky. "They call right now as they search, lighting candles in my name and singing songs"
"Then why don't you go to them?" I questioned. "I am" She replied.
She stood, brushing down her white dress as she did so. "To stay away too long would drive them mad so I'll leave"
She turned and walked towards the path by the brook and I frowned. Such a strange, bizarre creature.
"But who are they who call your name? Who are you?"
She turned and smiled.
"The poets, the artists, the musicians - they are the ones who search" She said simply, "And I am fleeting, I am fickle, I am constantly changing"
"Yes but who are you?" I questioned again, my eyes not leaving her small frame.
"My name is inspiration - the forgotten muse"
And with that she was gone…
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| existence an error? |
[08 Feb 2004|07:07pm] |
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mood |
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 productive |
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Ever thought that our existence was an error?
This statement is going to sound silly but while watching the television cartoon show “Spider-man” I started thinking of our existence. The episode I saw was about an unknown colony of mutant lizards living in the sewers of New York City. Their existence was an accident due to a scientist pouring his experiment into the sinks. The liquid flowed to the sewer were lizards licked some of it. They were transformed into lizard human looking creatures. During the episode, they found out that their existence was an accident and they were transformed back into lizards. Maybe our existence is a mistake also?
I know that might have been a bad example but just think about the message. Another “bad” example would have to be “The Simpsons”. On a Halloween episode, Lisa was working on a science project with her tooth and some sort of soda (I think it was root beer). The tooth was covered with the soda inside of a bowl. Bart showed Lisa his science experiment with electricity by rubbing his head with a balloon. He zapped Lisa, and later, Lisa zaps the tooth in the bowl. She “sparks” life with this touch.
To people, life is a miracle. It could be true but it could be a mistake. What if we are like the pouring liquid story. Our existence could have been by accident. Or maybe we could have only been a science experiment gone wrong? Think of a fish in the water. To the fish, the water is the universe but does the fish really know how big Earth is outside of the water? What if we are the fish in our universe? Unknowing that there is a massive universe beyond ours, we may never know. Our technology may be growing but will ever find these answers? Just open your mind to the ideas. I know the televisions cartoon shows were bad examples but they do make you think.?
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| =( |
[08 Feb 2004|04:25pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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i...miss...dan =(
i'd do anything to get close to you
i want to be the shirt you're wearing
just to be against your body and feel your heart beat
i want to be the hat on your head
just to be close to your mind
and maybe catch a glimpse of what you're thinking
i want to be the sparkle in your eye
just to know what you see when you look in my direction
i want to be the drink you're consuming
just to feel your lips you're sucking me in...
i want to be the pen you're writing with
just to be held by you even if you're wearing me out
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| LF2 |
[08 Feb 2004|01:02am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Legend Fest II..S*C*O*R*E : Had a great night. Got to go to Legend Fest II. Yesssssss! I got there around 5, and I got inside and saw Shelby first. We hung out for like, 15 and then Shelby called Bonnie and Kristin, Bonnie and Nora had us go meet them in the park. We got back inside and I saw Dan *smiles* =). My pants were soaked by then, stupid slush. After a few people rapping ( MIKE BATES WAS AMAZING. ) I went back over to see Shelby and we went out to Aldens car to put Corbins bag in it. I got snow kicked at me and snow balls thrown at me. I am the life of the party *wink wink*. I went back inside after that and then went and saw Dan again. Watched Steve's band play and Sweat Pants Dot Com, too ( Best band I watched when I was there. ) Then I wanted hot chocolate. Yayyy hot chocolate. So we ( Me, Dan, Shelby, Alden, Rob, Ally, Austin ) walked to Dunkin Donuts. I almost died on the way there, but I'll get into that later. Got there, got hot chocolate, and everyone else but me and Dan got a ride back with Matt B. Damn it I was so fucking cold. I went slush / puddle jumping so I was cold, and I regreted that later, whatever. Me and Dan "bonded" on the walk home. Haha I <3 him to death, he is so awesomely amazing. We got back to the Johnson Cottage and watched another band and went downstairs. Casey got there. Oh woo, so excited there. He is so.. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! ugh He gets to me sometimes, he thinks he knows all fucking dipshit. Emma started to get annoying by the end, like making out with Steve and trying to make jealous ( or atleast how it seemed from my point of view. ) She'd look at Dan, then kiss Steve, so cool, or ughh not.
Dan & I = Almost Dying? Ouch. : Haha on the way to Dunkins a car was going around 45 at my guess around a corner that was all icy ( WELL DUH EVERYTHING IS ICY.. fucking retard drivers. ) He kinda spun out and slid across the street, then back to the other side of the street and into a ditch. I have a strong feeling it that car was going the other way, me and Dan would be dead right now. Hahaha, makes me even more petrified of driving. W00 H00!
[Edit] Forgot to put that Dan just told me he jacked off tonight. Thought you would all like to know.[/Edit]
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[07 Feb 2004|03:51pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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Legend Fest
I better get to fucking go. I got my mom to say I could but now it's the whole ride thing. I hate the world it is being an ass.
[Edit] I get to go to legend fest! YAYY!! I get to see Dan *does little dance until she realizes she looks stupid and stops* =) [/Edit]
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| my heart has burst expressing itself to you -- |
[07 Feb 2004|12:45pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
] |
Last Night = Sara Happiness : Had a great night last night. Dan & I are offically together again. YAYAYAYAYAY =). He's so awesome and I <3 him to death.
My Morning : I woke up with a headache, ugh I love headaches. I went on the comp and I read everyones aways messages ( yeah I'm cool ) then I did my current event in hopes my mom would say I could go to Legend Fest. My mom said she "had to think about it" so we'll see if I am bored out of my mind or get to go tonight *crosses fingers* please please please let me go.
Conclusion : I had a good night last night and I am hoping I get to have a good one tonight. If not, have fun at Legend Fest everyone BUT me. =(. I *heart* you Dan. =)
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| Life sucks, so do I, will someone please kill me? o.0 |
[06 Feb 2004|09:38am] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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Snow Day : Yayayayayayay! Snow days rock my socks off! \m/ (><) \m/. I woke up at 6.. stalled for 5 minutes or so and finally got myself up. I turned on the comp monitor like I always do the second I get up, then I turned on the light and picked out what to wear. I went in the bathroom and got dressed and came out to get my make-up and my mom told me that there wasn't any school. S*C*O*R*E!
Grounded = The World Sucks : Down side = I can't fucking do anything on the snow day causeeee my mom is evil. I wish I was ungrounded, god damn I hate this, I am going insane. I want to fucking see Dan and I fucking can't, and I want to go to fucking Legend Fest II and the odds are I won't get to go to that either. The world sucks.
I Miss Sheila DAMN IT! : Ugh, mental hospitals suck for taking my buddy away for the 5th time now. *Sniffle*. Stupid boyfriends, I HATE Leonard with a passion. yeah.. he can stop breathing right now.
Conclusion : And how can I forget the ever so popular : people suck... THE END.
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